Cooking Is Hard
by kris the ninja pirate
Summary: Ozai wants to bake a cake. The problem is. Ozai can’t bake. Can the almighty masked chef help? Crack fic!


Kris: Hey there peoples. A new one-shot. This one's for my friends birthday. Insane Elvish Vampire And The Demented hobbit Ninja. Long name I know. She likes weird random things. Check her stories out. You'll see what I mean. Well please R&R And enjoy.

Warning: My writing, and Emo Zuko bashing. (All in good fun though)

Disclaimer: I do not own avatar.

Summary: Ozai wants to bake a cake. The problem is. Ozai can't bake. Can the almighty masked chef help? Crack fic!

0oo00oo0

Flour flying everywhere. Eggs broken on the floor. Batter thrown into the sink. Ozai was stuck. After three tries. He still couldn't bake a cake. All he wanted was something sweet. And seeing as all the chefs had all their day off it was up to him. Baking a cake shouldn't be that hard. Oh how wrong the Fire lord was.

"Ahh! I swear if this next cake doesn't come out right I'll burn this house into the ground!" Grabbing his hair with goo covered hands. Picking up the spoon he sets off to work, Once more to the breach dear friends, Once more!

'_Okay, eggs, flour, chocolate, milk, some weird spice I found, baking soda, a wooden spoon, steak. I think that's it.'_

Throwing it in the oven Ozai sets it to high. He doesn't want to wait 15 whole minutes.

"Father? Are you in here?" Hearing his Emo son call him Ozai hurried to cover any evidence of him trying to bake. Not wanting to be caught doing something so unmanly. Trying to fit his mixing bowl under the sink. Half of it sticking out into the room.

"Hey there Zuko. What are you doing home? Last I checked you were whining to Mai about how much I hate you?" Ozai standing in front of the partly hidden mixing bowl. In a futile attempt to hide it from view. Though the batter dripped off the side onto the floor with a 'Splat'.

"Well I was, but Mai had to go shopping with her dad. Poor thing has to buy a pink dress to wear to some fancy dinner. So I came home."

Ozai stared. How in the world did such a loser get a girlfriend. It's scary. "Well as you can see nothings going on here. So you can just go." Pointing to the door.

Zuko left and Ozai saw trail of smoke seemed to follow him out. Sniffing the air Ozai couldn't seem to put his finger on the smell. Like burning wood and melted butter.

…The Cake! Running from his spot in front of the sink. Ozai dashed to the oven. Throwing the door open. Flames burst from the cake. Lighting the room on fire. The fire Lord has never been so scared of flames. Grabbing a pail of water that just happened to be at the right place at the right time. And threw the water over the flames. Ozai breathed a sigh of relief. The fire was out and he wasn't dead. Though the cake was worse for wear. Picking the soaking burnt cake up from the oven. Nothing but guilt ran through Ozai's head. He had killed another cake! This poor chocolate steak cake never stood a chance!

"Why must I be cursed with this inability to cook!" Falling to his knees holding the burnt cake to his chest. " I need a miracle. Or some one who can cook." Throwing his dead cake in the trash. Ozai left the kitchen hoping to find one servant that was still here. Why he gave them all a day off today was beyond him.

Walking around the rather large house. And after checking a hundred rooms and finding nothing. Ozai was about to throw Zuko out a window. Wait, Zuko was home. He could just ask him to get a cook. Though he'll have to lie and say he wants some thing manly. Instead of cake. Something like. Grilled cheese logs. Yeah, that's manly.

"Zuko? Where are you? You better show you're face before I burn your poem book!" '_That should get the little Emo out of hiding._' Hearing hurried foot steps from the hallway. Ozai gets out of the way before getting trampled. "Don't touch my book?! I swear if even one page is bent I'll bash in your skull and fed your brains to my pet lizards!" Looking around Zuko saw that it was Ozai who called him. Zuko paled. "Oh hi father. I didn't know it was you who called me. About the whole brains getting eaten by my lizards. I didn't mean it."

"I'll look over your death threat for now. Only because there's more pressing matters. I need you to find someone for me."

Zuko smiled, Ozai was sending him on a mission. And it sounds important. "Sure I'll find the guy for you. Is he wanted for murder? Or maybe he stole something from you!"

"No, nothing like that. I want….A cook!" Ozai holding his arm up in a dramatic fashion. Face unmoving.

Zuko fell to the ground. _'I guess it's not important'_

'_Okay Ozai calm down. It's just a cook. I mean how scary can one cook be. I'm the Fire Lord. I should be able to take down anyone! But he's a cook. He knows the magical secrets of rising dough. How can I fight someone with that knowledge!' _

"Hello? Lord Ozai are you here? I was called to cook for you."

Ozai called the cook into the kitchen. Ozai was shocked. The cook was wearing a mask! A weird one. It look like a beach ball with eye holes! "What the crap?"

"Oh, if you're talking about my mask. Yeah I know it's weird. But it's a gimmick and people eat that stuff up." Ozai could only guess that the mask weirdo was smiling behind that awful looking thing.

"Okay enough about my mask and let's get on to cooking! What did you want done? Steak? Ham? Or maybe a turkey!" A drop of drool showing from the edge of the mask.

"Umm no, I wanted some one to teach me how to make a cake." Ozai looked down at his feet. Praying the cook doesn't mock him.

" Cake? That's a weird and unmanly thing to want. Oh well. I like living and I have this sinking feeling if I don't make you one I'll burn. So let's get to it!"

The masked cook went to work. Showing The fire lord the best way to crack an egg. How to stir the batter. And what size pans to use.

"Wow, who would have known that you had to open the egg out of it's shell." Ozai stared in wonder at the almost ready cake.

"Hehe, well the cakes almost done. What should we do in the mean time?"

Ozai thought. "I know! Let's talk about things we hate. That way I can whine about Zuko behind his back. Instead of to his face. It gets annoying watching your teenage son run out of the room crying."

"Okay, that's weird. But sure we can talk about what annoys us. Hmm? Well I have this friend who bugs me. Always calls me unmanly for cooking. Stupid little shrimp."

'_Man, who knew masked people had it that hard…hug him!" _Leaning over Ozai pulled the mask cook into a great big hug! "It's okay, we'll get the shrimp. You just hang in there. You tough warrior." Ozai pat the cook's back.

"Dude, You care?" Ozai could see tear falling from under his mask. "I've never met anyone who cared about me so much before." The cook hugged the Fire nation leader back. After much tears and many "You're my best friend" The two just sat next to each other. Talking and laughing.

Hearing the oven timer go off both got up from the floor and walked over and pulled the cake from the oven.

"Oh! It looks so good. I can't wait till we can eat it!" Ozai's mouth watered just thinking about the chocolate nom noms.

"Hold on there big guy. It has to cool and we still have to put the icing on it." The cook held up a bowl of butter cream icing.

"You know something Cook? I would like you know your name. So I can hire you and we can talk whenever we want! And maybe have a sleepover!" Ozai felt like a school girl again.

"Well my name is the best part of me. And you are my best friend. I think I could tell you. But you have to promise not to tell a soul." The cook held out his pinky finger. Ozai linked his with the cook's. Making a promise to never tell each others secrets.

"Okay, the name is…..Sokka! I am the worlds greatest cook! The master of the grill. The Lord of the sugar!" Taking off his mask Sokka gave a big smile to his new best friend.

"You're Sokka? The avatars friend… Wow, Burn for your evil ways!"

0oo00oo0

A golden eye (1) watched the scene playing out in the kitchen. Ozai was chasing Sokka around with a steak knife yelling something about ripping out his hair and making a cake with it. Laughing the figure smirked. "No one calls my poems Emo."

0oo00oo0

If you didn't guess it was Zuko. And since his scar is over one eye. I assume that he's half blind. Cause there's no way for him to see out of that thing.

Kris: Hope that didn't kill you. And hoped you liked it Kay baby! Much love to you and peace out!

Ps, Reviews would rock. So Review!


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